I Drove a Horrible Thing Today

"PatBateman" (PatBateman) 08/13/2014 at 18:07 • Filed to: u haul

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My in-laws are moving out of their awesome house into an assisted living community, so I had to drive a 14' U Haul truck from the 'Burbs to a paper-shredding facility through Houston traffic™. It SUCKED.

It only had 93,000 miles on the odometer, but apparently these were all very hard miles. The steering was loose, and the brakes were no better. I was getting the finger from multiple drivers as I cruised down IH-10 due to the fact that the damned thing would drift very closely to other lanes before my lightning-quick reflexes brought it back in line.

Being a mathematical finance guy, I started doing the calculations in my head on how many consecutive days it would take me to actually cause a decent wreck. Five days, plus or minus two. I also thought about these odds as I was filling out the paperwork to rent it, which is why I opted for the all-inclusive insurance package they offered me. Yes, I bought it. No, I'm not a sucker; I'm a realist.

I made it back to the rental place with no new scratches or dents. Sixty-nine miles of pure terror. My truck felt like a 458 Italia when I drove it back home to shower up and run back to work to return some calls and answer emails (one of those emails informed me that I landed a surgical center's 401k plan).

My end analysis is this: I will pay whatever it costs for movers in the future to never EVER drive one of those damned things again.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:09

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And what of their house? Will it now become your new HQ?

HammerheadFistpunch > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:10

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I think you got a bad one, in need of retirement. I drove a 14 footer when I moved and it was no harder than driving a mid 90's suburban.

PatBateman > HammerheadFistpunch 08/13/2014 at 18:12

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Like I said, I'm pretty sure they were all pretty hard miles. I expected something of a different experience.

mcseanerson > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:12

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Oh man you missed out. Before they made everything off hd trucks the uhaul by my house had one built off a little Toyota truck. Whenever it was empty and I was driving it back I'd drive it like the Pizza Planet driver in Toy Story laughing the whole way.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:12

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14" U-haul trucks are the pits. It'd be better to upsize to the 2' one at least.

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14', I'm assuming V8 gas F-series? A lot of 14's are in repeat abuse service as "local" trucks, and UHaul dealers don't always report in to central when a truck is having issues. Not to say yours was beyond normal - brakes and steering are typically a bit iffy at least, but there are mileage schedules for checkup that don't necessarily match hard in-town miles.

The 17's don't drive any better, btw. At least with a 24' or 26' you can terrify people off the road.

PatBateman > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/13/2014 at 18:13

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Negative. We bought a nice new construction house in an awesome new subdivision a little over a year ago. They're closing on the house Friday, selling it to a nice older couple.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:15

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Cool. I've given thought to moving to Texas before. I'm originally from the south, so I know all about the heat, humidity and occasional hurricanes, but I've been spoiled by the near perfect year round weather here in San Diego. Housing prices are just ridiculous here.

PatBateman > mcseanerson 08/13/2014 at 18:16

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LOL Did you put it up on two wheels?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:17

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I helped my brother move once. He was driving a smaller Uhaul truck and I was riding shotgun. We had the windows open because it wasn't pleasant smelling. He got too close to a telephone poll and smacked the passenger mirror. It broke and the large shards of glass flew by in front of my throat.

Fun times

mcseanerson > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:17

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No, but it did get pretty tippy.

PatBateman > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/13/2014 at 18:18

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San Diego is GORGEOUS. I visited there last year for the Texans-Chargers game.

Austin would be a pretty good place for you. The terrain in SD reminded me a lot of central Texas.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > mcseanerson 08/13/2014 at 18:18

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Yeah, that's the old 10'. When I worked at a UHaul place as a summer job, they were already very uncommon (~07). There's also a 10' based off a GMC van, but I think that's also no longer being made.

mcseanerson > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/13/2014 at 18:19

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If I recall all Uhaul trucks are supposed to be F350 based now.

For Sweden > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:21

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First thing's first, I'm the realest (realest)
Drop this and let U-Haul insure it (insure it)
And I'm still in the Chedda Bizness
But who built this whip didn't heed lessons in physics (right, right)
You should want a big truck like this (huh?)
Lift gate low but pick it up just like this (yeah)
Loose in brake, loose in steer, loose in ride
High roof, somethin' talleren' half the houses in my midst (in my midst)
Followin' all the lanes straight, never drift that (never)
Hightop like we bringin' 1990 back (what?)
Bring the books in, where the shredder at?
Evidence tearin', you can't trace that

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > mcseanerson 08/13/2014 at 18:25

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I just checked the U-Haul website: 10, 14, 17, 20, 24, 26 all listed and no mention of change. The 14 and 17 are both now apparently an E-series (as opposed to an F-series for the 14), but that'll presumably change with the advent of the Transit.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:25

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Nah, I think if I ever leave here it will be for someplace that is a little more green, though from what I hear Austin has good music, which I like.

dogisbadob > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:25

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It's the fastest thing you'll ever get to drive because it's a RENTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Didja do any donuts? :)

PatBateman > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/13/2014 at 18:29

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Corrected to the proper measurements. Duh.

I wanted a 10', but it doesn't have a ramp (which was badly needed for what I was doing). I would definitely kill someone if I ever drive a larger one.

E92M3 > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 18:32

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I drove a 24ft with a car hauler behind it 1400 miles twice (moving from Colorado to GA). It's nerve racking the first hour, then you get settled in. The decision was $8k doing it myself or paying $25k to a moving and car transportation company. Pretty easy decision.

PatBateman > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/13/2014 at 18:47

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Sounds like a party to me.

PatBateman > For Sweden 08/13/2014 at 18:52

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One take. Add the bass track, DONE.

sketchcat > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 19:55

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try dragging one of those things between Chicago and Cleveland heavily loaded with a 89 jetta on a trailer behind it in two lane construction traffic on the 80 in a windstorm.

that was 8 hours of hell. and the people stacked up behind me were NOT amused.

to top off the experience the next day when i went to take it back to the local uhaul, the empty trailer decided to part form the azz end of the truck and go careening down the freeway on its own. took out a sign.

bent the fender so bad i had to take one of its 4 wheels off because the fender was mashed into it. luckily it was early Sunday so that road was empty. could have been 3 lanes of carnage.

i had purchased the insurance - told them i had "hit my garage foundation."

thats what happens when you are distracted by a fussy mother in law who demands to take group pictures, distracted us into forgetting to button up the hitch before pulling out to return the rig.

XJDano > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 19:57

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I am not denying you had a bad truck, but 14' ain't nothing until you get a 24' international doing this:

kinda freaky, but truck was still driving and braking OK, so continue the other 250 miles under those conditions. Thank God I had some ear buds and got good cell service to listen to music. When at destination called roadside service next day and they said it would have to go in for service, not something he can fix with his service truck. No time for that! I did send it back home with a coworker.

And then there are some days when you like the rental trucks:

At work pulling out a window with truck:

I actually driver 16' rental trucks almost daily. And this year we are getting newer ones with around 3,000 miles. Much nicer, although there are governed at 75mph.

PatBateman > dogisbadob 08/13/2014 at 20:08

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No donuts. The engine wasn't quite enough to get it there.

PatBateman > E92M3 08/13/2014 at 20:10

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Damn, that's expensive!!

Third option: sell everything you own and buy new stuff at your destination.

Agrajag > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/13/2014 at 21:48

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The 10' GMC is still in use.

Agrajag > mcseanerson 08/13/2014 at 21:50

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I miss the old diesel 5 speed 26' trucks.

mcseanerson > Agrajag 08/13/2014 at 21:53

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Man I wanted to rent one of those back in the day but they were already phasing them out when I rented my first uhaul and I couldn't find one.

sellphones2493 > PatBateman 08/13/2014 at 22:17

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http://www.buzzfeed.com/whitneyjeffers…

E92M3 > PatBateman 08/14/2014 at 01:16

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That's what I wanted to do (except for the cars). Have a moving sale and offload half the stuff. If we could of got it all to fit in just one truck that would of saved us even more.o

Ilike_cougars > PatBateman 08/14/2014 at 09:56

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Could be worse, The Uhaul I got when I moved to Pittsburgh smelled like coconut oil, and I had to drive the damn thing to my new job because my car couldn't get delivered in time..